One look on Twitter is enough to know that a lot, if not most, authors struggle with self doubt. I’m one of them.
When I am in the midst of the first draft, when the story is flowing onto the screen, all self doubt is put aside. But then there are days when the ideas are stuck, when I have an idea but I don’t think I have the talent to tell it. Worst – when I am editing. I still love the story, but I question every sentence and word.
Self doubt manifests itself in me as fatigue. I will be feeling up to the task of writing, but the moment I sit before the computer my brain becomes lead. Fatigue winds itself through my blood until I lay my head down or step away.
I know what it is and I know that all I have to do is power through it, tell myself it doesn’t matter, but some days I just can’t. Some days I shut down the computer and watch the cooking channel instead.
On a side note there are other things that cause fatigue in me – cola, coffee, and chocolate. The two things they all have in common is clearly caffeine and sugar, so perhaps I should avoid them, but screw that. Actually, I don’t drink coffee because if I do I know that within thirty minutes I will need a nap. This has nothing to do with anything, except that I just drank cola and now I’m tired and I should be editing.